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5 reasons that I’m not too old to work with teenagers

January 31, 2012 By 43 Comments


My friends at YM360 (who also happen to help sponsor the Youth Ministry Garage) had a post yesterday titled “When is a Youth Minister Too Old to be Effective“? Apparently, it’s go more action, traffic and comments than any post they’ve ever written.


It’s an interesting discussion.

Here’s a snippet from the YM360 post:

When is a youth worker too old to be effective?

I’ve noticed something that happens to us youth workers around our mid-30′s, or so. We find ourselves unable to naturally relate to teenagers. Most of us have reached a point where we don’t automatically pick up on their references like we did in our 20′s. They mention a fad or a movie and we realize we have no idea what they’re talking about. This happens enough, and it begins to bother us.

We begin to think that means we’re too old. We hear a clock ticking inside of us. We say something like, “I’ve lost my relevance.”

There are other signs, as well . . .

The needle on our fun-meter is not as often moved by the games and the recreation. We think, “I need to move on to more adult things.”

We see our peers “advancing” to become Minister to Adults or Teaching Pastors. We say to ourselves, “I need to move on to real ministry.”

We see our friends leaving the ministry. We say to ourselves, “Is it time for me to quit playing around and get a real job?”

As an old youth worker, I’ll chime into the discussion (but it’s got to be quick because I’ll have to run to the bathroom, eat my oatmeal, and then take a nap).

1. I’ve never felt more effective in youth ministry than I do now.

2. I don’t believe teenagers care about relevance… they care about relationships.

3. Having had 3 teenagers live in my home, I know more about teens now than I ever did and can literally talk “their language” more accurate than I could when I was in my 20′s.

4. I’m closer to Jesus than I’ve ever been and I definitely have more wisdom to pass on (which was the thesis of the YM360 post).

5. I’m more patient, realistic and encouraging about spiritual growth. I better see the big-picture of sanctification than I did when I was younger and equated “program attendance” to “spiritual growth.”

Every Wednesday night my home is filled with 10th grade boys, and after sharing a meal together, we talk, read Scripture, confess our sins, and rejoice in the power of the Holy Spirit and the presence of God in our lives. It’s an unbelievable discipleship experience. Very different than how I discipled teenagers when I was in my 20′s.

I don’t know if these 10th grade guys give me respect because I “was” a full-time youth pastor for 29 years, if they endure me because I’m now a “volunteer” or if they like me because I’m “old” and they feel sorry for me (see photo above when I was the only one to wear something to “Crazy Christmas Sweater Dinner”).

I think they respect me because they know that I love them.

I don’t know all the names to their favorite songs/bands, I can’t keep up with all the new slang connected to genitalia, I’m usually the first one “out” when we play dodgeball… but, I know I’m an effective youth worker because I understand them, I know Jesus, and I depend on the Holy Spirt for everything I do when I’m with them.

When I was younger, unfortunately I think I depended more on my personality, charisma and drive.

Okay, that’s enough… now I got to go pee.

Question: When it comes to youth ministry…would you rather have young leaders or older leaders? Pros? Cons? Share your thoughts here.


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  • Katrina Hudson

    I love this post! I am 40 soon to be 41 and I work with JrH, I go to their lunches and games all the time. I have a blast. There is so much truth in “they care about relationships.” I hope to be working with JrH till I am a least “60!” LOL! Thanks for all you do!

    • Doug Fields

      me too Katrina!

  • http://twitter.com/darrensutton darren sutton

    Amen.  Cried through the whole thing (I think becoming overly-emotional also goes with getting older….)   :)

    • Doug Fields

      I would love to see video of you crying my friend.

  • Jonnytokyo

    Love it Doug. Point 5 especially. It’s amazing that as you get older (I’m a wonderful un-snazzy 35) you catch yourself more often before being judgemental and hypocritical, especially in relation to youth. It’s simply that I recognise all those things I project onto young people, all those specks in their eyes, in my own life, and realise “Hey if God’s not done with me yet, then there’s hope for anyone!”

  • http://twitter.com/mattdelarosby Matt Delarosby

    Thanks Doug. Highly encouraging and SO SO REAL. Keep it up.

  • Chris Harkins

    Just what I needed to hear. Thank you.

  • Dave Libbon

    Way to go Doug! Best article yet on the blog in my opinion.

     I got the question the other day “What are you going to do when you get old?” my answer was polite. Being 31 I’m not exactly a twenty something anymore so I thanked them for thinking i wasn’t “old”. What I wanted to say was… Be even more AWESOME. Oh well next time.

    • Doug Fields

      Thanks Dave. I’ve got some clothes that are older than 31 years :0. The 30′s were fun years! Enjoy.

  • Grant

    Thanks Doug!  I agree totally with you.  I hope God allows me to keep working with teens well past my 50′s (I get there in a few months) because it is the most rewarding, fun and challenging way to live.  Keep on bringing the great articles and insights.  You are a blessing to me, my brother.

    • Doug Fields

      Thanks Grant…blessings! Appreciate all you do and who you are for teenagers.

  • Trayce Allen

    Cannot agree more Doug.  I just turned 50 and lead our middle school youth.  They say they love me so I guess I believe them!  Then again, I have a 7th grader so that helps keep me young too.

  • Nathan

    Great post!  I am a soon to be 52 year-old student pastor.  I am not ineffective because I am old nor effective because I am young.  I am relevant in spite of me. I love being a student pastor and I would hate to be a rookie with this generation.

  • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

    I’m just a young guy. I volunteered in youth ministry for a year, been part-time for 3, and now been working full time for 5 months. In just 6 weeks I will be 24! But when I think about people who do a great job at youth ministry, I think about older volunteers. I seek after older individuals to be a part of the youth ministry. Typically they are closer to God, and although they are not “relevant” they certainly love the crap out of this next generation.

    When I think about my time in youth group I remember my youth ministers playing a part in my growth. But each of them were only around for a couple years. It was the older men who were involved all 7 years (6-12) that I was there. They had the biggest opportunity to impact me and I really looked up to them and valued their relationships. I’m not sure you are ever too old for this ministry, which is awesome because I don’t ever plan on quitting!

  • http://www.facebook.com/uthpastor Ryan C. Nielsen

    Thanks Doug!  I SO needed to read this blog post today.  This Friday I will turn 39, and as I enter my last year of the 30′s I have found adults around me telling me things such as addressed here – that I’m too old to really be effective or do a “good job” (whatever they think that looks like) in youth ministry.  I can’t imagine doing anything else.  So thanks for the encouragement to keep going and the reminder that even though I am getting older, I am not getting “too old.”

  • Russell Migl

    Thanks Doug, I have had people question why I still work with teens at 41. I just want to look back at them and say why not??? Write something on being parent and pastor to your own kids if you get a chance!! That is what I am facing and so far so good.

    Russell

  • Jimbean

    I’m not sure if I totally agree with this. I think someone can be a leader well after 40 but to be Youth pastor with vision and creativeness? There is nothing wrong with saying your to old for the ministry and maybe step aside and let someone else with a better and younger perspective on students lead. When Michael Jordan reached 40 in the NBA he developed a strong post game because he realized he was no longer faster and stronger. Youth pastors over 40 can be more effective as mentors and leaders but as far as leading the ministry? I would leave that to someone ready to hit the ground running.

    • Timarievanmoon

      It would be interesting to know how old you are & to hear from you again in 20 years when you feel like you still have a vital ministry to students. Seems to me that some “grown-up” who probably didn’t belong in student ministry has put a bad taste in your mouth.

      • Jimbean

        I do not mean anything bad by it, I just feel that once you reach a certain age you should play more of an assisting roll to a younger director. I agree that when you get older you have more wisdom and stories to share but you no longer have the ability to keep up with youth. I am 36 years old and have been in youth ministry for over 20 years. I was once a pastor but now help out and do the teachings at our bible study.

    • not too old til God says so

      Why would you limit God like that. At 46 I am more effective, more insightful, more intentional, have more wisdom, more to offer relationally and spritually and more passionate than I was 20 years ago.

  • Mattr

    I’m a 50 year old student ministry volunteer so this article caught my eye as well. Just one eye because I only have one good eye now but I digress…anyway I have had tremendous success with my high school small groups. I think relartionships and showing them how to love Jesus is more important to them than whether or not I know the latest top 10 songs on MTV. I’m way more closer in MY relationship with Jesus now than I have ever been. My students see this and pick up on that. I might not be 20 years old anymore but I can still play dodgeball with the best of them. I just can’t run and get out of the way as fast as I use to, but my students seem to like that also.

    One of the secrets to being in student ministry is we get blessed just as much as our students do! There’s another side to this also, being in student ministry keeps me young. Last year on the bus ride home from high school summer camp, I was tired and sore and sunburned…and I couldn’t wait for camp to next year! As long as I am physically able, and as long as I can make a difference in a student’s life I’ll keep doing this. Can’t wait for the day when I hear those words…”Well done my good and faithful servant, you no longer have to get wacked in the side of the head with a dodgeball and no one will call you dude here.” (Although secretly I hope they have dodgeball in heaven)

  • Upperroomuth77

    Amen Doug. I have been in Youth Ministry 22 years now. And I have found that 99.9 % of all the kids I am fortunate to minister to and with care more that I am there for them and genuinely love them. And I do!! Some of them actually think it’s kinda weird if I try to be like them too. :) To me the hardest part about being in Youth Ministry at my age (48) is that it is harder to get a position with a church because the adults think we are not relevant or too old. I am blessed to be at a church now that supports me and doesn’t look for me to be the “cool” guy on staff (although I am ..haha). God has placed what I believe is a life long call on my life. I hope to be ministering and discipling students until Jesus comes!

  • Tonysolis777

    A lot of truth in all 5 points ,I do feel tho ,that when we have a calling from the Lord ,you can never be to old or you can never be to young for the ministry in general we have a young David that killed an older and much stronger Goliath,and then we have an elderly Moises who dealth with younger generations ,and you couldn’t of said it better Doug as longest we focus more on the kids spiritual growth,at the end of the day it will be an awesome day because we have done according to his will,blessings brother always learning from u and one day day i will do one youth program in English ,were I serve God its a Spanish speaking church ,and sometimes I struggle do to most of the kids even though there Hispanic most of them speak more English .

  • Pattidempster

    As a 60 year old volunteer I have sometimes felt like inmate be too old. But then I have an amazing conversation with student or get surrounded by hugs from my small group girls….and I’m reminded none of this about my age but about opening my heart to serve. This past weekend we were at an overnight event and my “roommates” decided 4:30 am was a good time to sleep. Yes, it’s taken me 2 days to recover but the connections made and the laughs shared are worth far more than 2 sleepy days. I’m hoping for many more years of students!!!

  • http://myendofthedeal.com/ brianseidel

    I feel like I am in the middle of this perspective.  I am 32, and I definitely feel like I am just getting started in what God wants me to do in youth ministry.  Yet, I also have felt and thought a few times “maybe it is time to move on.”  I think about the ministry I led in my 20′s and in some ways miss those days, but I also realize I really had no clue what I was doing most of the time then either.  I definitely have a lot to learn still though… thanks for continuing to teach Doug!

  • Bill Hughes

    Ok, I read this. I’m 59. I’ve actually have been working with youth for 40 years and it has been my job or profession. In fact being a Youth Minister is the only job I have ever had.   

    I know that the last 5 years have been my best ministry. I think the reason I have been so effective the last five years is that I finally made every big mistake you could make in Youth Ministry. It took about 35 years to make every mistake but the past 5 years I have not made 1 big mistake. And, for what ever reason the youth in my youth group and the youth at my youth’s school actually like me. Maybe it is because they know I care about them or maybe it is because they know I DON’T know everything going on at school or in their lives or maybe it is because I still remember what it was like to be a teenager. 

    At any rate my church seems happy with me being the Youth Pastor, so at 59 I see no reason to quit now. Unless God leads me to do something different I figure I’ll keep doing this until I turn 70 and then evaluate how important age is at that time. Actually when I hit 70 I’d like to retire and then work as a volunteer youth worker for 10 or so years.          

    • gatorgib

      Bill, I am charging toward 61 and still get a kick out of teaching and being with youth.  I am not a Youth Pastor, but one of those crazy youth workers. Not sure if age gives us wisdom, but I do know that I have tons of life’s stories that always meet a need.

  • Tonysolis777

    Blessings Jimbean
    I have a question ; Do u think a man of God after their 40′s loses the vision on what their calling is along with creativity? Don’t u think regardless of the age ,the Holy Spirit will guide the leaders he has called to his ministry?

  • Joe

    Doug,

    THANKS for this! I am 39 been in youth ministry for 17 years (last 4 1/2 at the my current church), and have been struggling for the past year or so with the things you mentioned in this article. I don’t like games, numbers or attractional events that much anymore. What I value is relationships, spiritual growth, and most of all Jesus. AND this all seems contrary to everything that I have done in youth ministry over the years… I have been questioning if I should be in youth ministry anymore…

    I lead a full-time paid student ministry staff of 4 guys and 2 women who are all under the age of 30. There are moments when I feel threatened by their youthfulness, creativity, and relevance that they bring to our ministry. I am also directly involved with our high school ministry (2 of my own kids are in this ministry area), and I feel out of touch at times or unable to relate to the students…

    I have started the journey of asking God to show me if I need to move on from youth ministry. I really am not comfortable with this, because I love our students and youth ministry, and never thought I would think about doing something else in ministry. I am honestly confused, sometimes depressed, and paralyzed by this.

    Reading this article has made me reflect on the last couple of years and see that they have been the best years of youth ministry I have ever had (my wife keeps telling me this). I think I need to evaluate, re-shape and maybe re-invent my approach to youth ministry… Is it time to leave youth ministry? I’m not sure yet. I’m praying, seeking wisdom, and advice… Funny thing, I just got home from a high school basketball game where I knew almost half of the students and parents at the game…Hmmm. I got some thinking to do.

  • Bryon Fortner

    This is a great post…very encouraging!  As a 46 year old bi-voc youth minister, I totally agree.  I fought the desire to flee in my 30s, but with God’s help hung on and I’m so glad I did.  I am now my daughter’s youth minister (we started late) and your point about having teenagers in your house sure helps!  I find that I dont like planning the cool games as much as I once did, but I think my teaching has more substance because I’ve just got more life experience that I once did!  You are an inspiration and huge help in my ministry!  thanks for all you do!

  • john

    Very relevant topic.  As a 55 yr old volunteer, I was asking myself that question a few months ago when I started attending a different church.  Then I saw other volunteers at least as old as me and with more experience than me. 

    Well, five months into the youth ministry here I am already leading a small group of 9th/10th grade boys, encouraging and praying with them, talking about some topics of deep concern to them.  I would say that my ministry to youth at this church has taken off faster than at any time in my 25+ years of volunteering in youth ministry.  Students see one’s passion, love & concern and they are attracted to that.  I will keep doing this as long as God continues to use me.

  • http://www.robbiemackenzie.com/ Robbie Mackenzie

    Great encouragement Doug and I appreciate all that you do. I have been asked on a number of occasions, “Robbie, when are you going to get your own church?” They assume that youth ministry is for young ministers and that it is a stepping-stone for preaching ministry. I feel like I am just now being able to sharpen my skills and become more effective. Thanks for this post.

  • Danette

    LIKE! LIKE! LIKE! At a happy & secure 49, investing in and interacting with teenagers hasn’t gotten old, even though in their estimation, I have. (Though someone said the other day that 50 is the new 30!)  #kidsareworthit

  • Pegs

    There are many pluses to being 56 and proud of it!  AND working with middle school kids.  They have so much energy and it seems to rub off.  Hubby and I no longer have little ones who get sick or need sitters for events and camp.  We don’t have teens at home any more (raised 4 girls to adulthood!  Woohoo!) to wear us down.  Nor are we university students who have other commitments, like school.  And we seem to connect better with the fringe kids–I think because we see all them as needing that extra time and connectivity.  So, we pray that God will allow us to continue for decades to come.  Cuz where else can we jump and dance — all for the Lord???!!!

  • Mark Hadley

    Dougie, I love all of your points and agree.  I just turned 48 and still really love youth ministry.  For me, it wasn’t until I was 40 years old that I stopped believing the lie of my own self importance.  That’s not a matter of age, but of maturity.  And maturity usually comes with experience.  What I think is the most effective method of leadership is having a mature leader at the helm surrounded by a lot of very talented young men and women who are empowered with leadership and opportunities to grow and learn.  I have always loved working in a team and sharing leadership and leading and learning from younger leaders.  I am so grateful that you are still in youth ministry.  Makes me feel young :)

  • Jill

    I’m 40 and have just started in youth ministry. We’ve had a series of young youth ministers and without fail, they’ve all left after a few years. I am the sixth youth minister my own children have had over the last 9 years.

    I appreciate the energy and “cool” factor that each brought. I know they’ve all loved Jesus and wanted our kids to also. At that age, there is still sorting that is going on…marraige, graduate degrees, babies, etc…plus a lot of growing (really learning how much we all don’t know).

    What we’re trying to do now is to have college age interns who work with our older volunteers. The hope is the kids will get the best of both worlds – wisdom and consistency from the older adults and energy and excitement from the younger adults.

    Great post. I loved hearing from other “mature” folks.

  • Mrs. Catalogue

    I’m 57 and the head youth leader in our church. My three co-leaders are in their 20′s. Sometime I struggle with feeling like I should quit and let them take over. But even though I   don’t know their lingo and there is so much about teen culture I don’t understand, they know I love them and they shower me with love and affection. They also act like they are totally absorbed in the Bible studies I teach. Hence, I can’t quit.

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