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The Homecoming Dance Playlist

September 19, 2012 by 21 Comments

GUEST POST by Jonathan McKee has become a regular guest blogger on this site! He is the author of numerous books including the brand new Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent, as well as youth ministry books like Connect: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation. You can find his excellent blog here.


I just had lunch with someone whose father works for Homeland Security. This man knew of threats to our country we are probably glad we never knew about. He’s not allowed to talk about the threats, not even to family… but sometimes he would use indirect communication. This person told me stories of early morning phone calls to their house on the East Coast from their dad in D.C. where he would simply say, “Today would be a good day for you to grab the family and go for a drive… to Kentucky!”
As a guy who studies youth culture for a living… sometimes I discover things that most people are probably glad they don’t know.

I just saw the song playlist for the Homecoming dance at my daughter’s high school this coming weekend, a dance I’ve given both of my daughters permission to go to (which has always been an interesting decision to make as a parent). Some of the students posted the playlist on their Facebook page and my youngest, Ashley, showed it to me. I had her snap a few screen shots and send it to me. As I look over this list this morning, reading through the titles of songs I’ve studied and written articles about… I’m troubled with what I know about this music.

My daughter said, “Please don’t call the principal.” (Ha… I’ve only done that once in her lifetime.)

I talked with my oldest daughter, Alyssa, about it this morning. I asked her, “Why don’t you think I should call the principal?”
“Because it’s not going to do any good,” she said matter-of-factly. “They know it’s bad, but they don’t want to know. They just tell the DJ to play the clean versions and they think that they’ve done the responsible thing.” (More from this conversation in my blog.)

I just wonder what would happen if the principal really knew what was going to be played in the speakers on Saturday night?

Here’s just a glimpse:

HOMECOMING DANCE PLAYLIST:
I’ll start with the 3rd song on the playlist:

Ayy Ladies- Travis Porter

If you got some good p**sy say (YEAAAAH?)
If you got some good head on ya shouldeeeeers
If you got some good p**sy say (YEAAAAH?)
If you never let a hoe f**k you oveeeer
If you ’bout yo’ check, drank Moet
Know the p**sy stay wet, I need all dat
Tattoos on the back, I see all dat
You already got a man, I ain’t tryna be all dat

I’m just tryna hit it by the end of the night
Lil’ mama so bad and her booty so tight
When I hit it from the back, don’t fuss, don’t fight
When I put it in ya mouth, don’t scratch, don’t bite…

If you’re wondering how they’ll play a song like this, let me introduce you to the “clean versions” of these songs. The clean version of the above song plays the same thing, but with the italicized words “silenced.”

Isn’t that comforting?

Don’t worry. All songs aren’t that blatant. Most are like this one from Usher…

Scream- Usher

Kill the lights, shut ‘em off

You’re electric

Devil eyes telling me “Come and get it”

I’ll have you like

Ooh baby baby ooh baby baby

Ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby baby

Girl tonight you’re the prey

I’m the hunter

Take you here, take you there

Take you under

Imagine me whispering in your ear

Then I wanna take off all your clothes and put something on ya…

If you wanna scream, yeah

Let me know and I’ll take you there

Get you going like

Ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby baby

Ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby

If you want it done right

Hope you’re ready to go all night…


Then there are songs that make you just scratch your head. Before every chorus, here’s the words…

Get Ourra Your Mind- Lil Jon

I don’t give a f**k, I don’t give a f**k, F**K IT!

I don’t give a f**k, I don’t give a f**k, F**K IT!

I don’t give a f**k, I don’t give a f**k, F**K IT!

I don’t give a f**k, F**K IT!

Kinda curious what the clean version will sound like.

Remember, this “poet” is what our society calls an “artist.” We’ve come a long way from Wordsworth, Shakespeare and Keats, don’t ya think?

And We Danced- Macklemore

I am not, I am not going to stand on the wall

I will dance, I will dance, I will break that ass off

And I see you in the corner, corner looking so small

Doing the robot like if I die tonight at least I went hard

I will not, I will not give a damn who watches me

I will live, I will live liberate the fox in me

I will be the discoball, freak and give my all

To whatever girl’s booty I’m freaking on

I’m not skeeting nah, it’s just freaking hot

Alright I skeeted…

And “skeet” is to ejaculate, for those who are curious.

 

The dances I’ve chaperones always say, “No alcohol or drinking.” Then they play a song like this one:

Bottoms Up- Trey Songz

Bottoms up bottoms up (up), Ay whats in ya cup

Got a couple bottles, But a couple aint enough

Bottoms up bottoms up (up), Throw ya hands up

Tell security we bout to tear this club up…

We (adults) are so stupid. Maybe that’s why the adults in charge of this upcoming dance allowed this song to be on the playlist…

Get Low- Lil Jon
…a song I actually wrote about in my parenting book . because I saw the “clean version” of this song played at a school dance, and the kids were all shouting the explicit version on the dance floor. I’ll let you peak at these painfully explicit lyrics here.

Here’s the lyrics to just a handful of some of the others songs on this weekend’s playlist:

Cat Daddy- The Rej3ctz

Wobble- VIC

Take Over Control- Afrojack

Whistle- Flo Rida

Snapbacks & Tattoos- Driicky Graham

Smack That – Akon ft. Eminem

Carry Out – Timbaland & Justin Timberlake

Domino- Jessie J

Sigh. Do parents even want to know this?

Hmmmmm… to dial the school… or not to dial???

Question: Do you think Jonathan should call the principal? Would you let your kids go to this dance? Do you think parents should respond to this type of thing? Why? Why not? Share your thoughts here.



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Filed Under: Culture, Family matters, Guest Post, happening, Parenting, posts, youth ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,
  • Rob Vollmer

    Reading this makes me really glad I’m not a parent. Life is so much more difficult now than when I was a teenager. Thanks for pointing this out, Doug!

  • Rob Vollmer

    After readings this, I’m very glad I’m not a parent. It is so much more difficult to be a teenager now than when I was in school. Thanks for pointing this out, Doug.

  • Karen

    No, I do not believe that the principal should be called. The best decision is the conversation with your daughters about how to be a real person who will have an amazing time at the dance while still maintaining the values of her faith system. Why does this keep coming up year after year? It’s a decision to be made by the family, and frankly, I don’t think pulling kids out of dances is the way to teach them how to be a believer in the midst of whatever the world tosses at us.

    • http://www.newbeginningschurch.info Jeff Berg

      If a moment of silence is offensive to some how are these lyrics not!?

      It’s not even about christian vs. non-christian its about the rules in which our society wants to play (there’s another conversation regarding teaching our kids to be a believer among the world)… They have ratings on the music and on movies that say whether they are appropriate for what ages and typically that’s address specific words instead of content but why not hold our schools to the standard they want to hold students to within them!?

      If any of those students were caught putting those lyrics into action or saying them out loud anywhere other than the dance floor they’d be getting saturday school or some kind of punishment… So why not at the school sanctioned dance (they’ve made rules about alcohol, firearms and tobacco at the dance)?

      It’s interesting that we are willing to let it be… Seems we’re willing to do that on all fronts regarding our culture right now!?

    • Jonathan McKee

      Karen… i totally agree with you. Many parents are shocked to discover that I AM allowing my daughters to go. If you click on the third link in the post above, you can actually view the exact conversation I had with my daughter, where I asked her, “Why am I letting you go to this dance?” And she dialogued with me about it.

    • Layton Dutton

      Karen, I don’t think you’re saying this, but be careful not to put down parents who do choose not to allow their teens to go to the dance. I think there is a very good argument for that as well. It is the parent, and definitely the father’s, job to give spiritual direction. It may be to avoid a situation that is difficult for their teen. I would think whether to send my child to public school or not would be a tough decision because of how far they would be from Biblical teaching. Though it is also a place they can show Christ. Much more may depend on the where the child is and the training they are receiving at home. It is tough and kids and teens won’t always understand what parents do. Consistent communication like Jonathan mentioned is important and going to the Word of God. Even then, it may be hard for them to accept.

  • KJ

    Random Thoughts:
    - our decision whether or not to allow our high schooler to go to a dance would have virtually nothing to do with type of music played.

    - Why do we expect non-believers to act like believers? It’s not a church, it’s not a Christian school or a private party thrown by Christian parents.

    - What Karen said.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jarmturner Jarm Turner

    Can we just remove the believer/non-believer/Christian faith aspect of this discussion and just take a common sense approach? Read the lyrics again and ask, if these lyrics were put in video form with actors and projected onto the wall at the dance, would I THEN respond as a parent? Is pornography just porn when it is in video form or can there be such a thing as “audio porn”? If the answer is yes to either of those questions we have a responsibility as a parent (christian or not) to at the very least send the lyrics of the playlist to the principal. I do not expect a public school dance to play Toby Mac or “act like believers” but I do expect them to be responsible with my underage children and the media they play in their midst. Not sure anyone will argue that the lyrics posted above are in any way responsible. I believe all of us have a line that if crossed will cause us to speak out as a parent? Where is that for you?

    • Jonathan McKee

      Good thoughts Jarm. Sadly, many might argue that since the key words are edited out of these songs (like in my first example above- I italicized the words they edit out), the songs are “clean” … according to them. Personally, I think they are about as clean as a Jersey Shore episode with all the curse words edited and nudity blurred. Kids still know what’s going on.

  • http://www.newbeginningschurch.info Jeff Berg

    You didn’t even get into “Whistle” by Flo Rida which is one of the scariest on the list since he is suggesting something that “isn’t” sex or “that big a deal”

    • Jonathan McKee

      Yeah… follow my link on that song and you’ll see my entire blog about that one. Sadly, that song was actually No. 1 on the Billboard charts 10 days ago.

  • http://twitter.com/kbitter kbitter

    It’s a lose-lose situation. Call the principal, victoriously get the playlist changed and all the kids that want to hear these songs get frustrated and go listen to them at the after party anyway. (and you’ll be “that” guy)

    Or, don’t call the principal and feel like you didn’t take action to block harmful junk like this from influencing the “big night”.

    It’s crazy how double minded we can be. “Don’t participate in underage drinking.” “Don’t be sexually promiscuous. But, here, let me play music so you can all dance like skanks and get your hormones fired up. We’ll hose you down on the way out.”

    I agree that we can’t expect non-believers to act like believers; but I’m with Jarm. This is flat-out pornographic. When you wade through the lyrics pulsing through the beat of these songs, it’s a heart breaking reminder of how oversexualized our culture is. It’s heart breaking to realize how twisted sexuality is…and that this twist is pushed forward as normal.

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  • Ron

    This situation calls to mind the quote by Sir Edmund Burke:”

    “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

    Thank goodness Jesus didn’t just look the other way in the temple courts, but overthrew the tables of the moneychangers and ran them off! Yes, he was “that guy.”

    If we are attempting to be more like Jesus in our own lives perhaps we should not be afraid to be “that guy.” If we don’t stand for something – we will fall for anything.

  • John

    As a DJ of a large DJ company, I can say that there are definitely some moral boundries for us and as many of you said, it’s a lose lose situation. We can hardly plan music videos anymore because even the songs that lyrically don’t seem obscene even have provocative videos.

    The problem is this is the style of dancing for this generation, and also the style of music. If we went to highschool homecoming dance and plaid The Fray or Jason Mraz the whole time, while these are good artists, everyone would leave and then the school would never have us back because everyone left. On the other hand, if we play the music that the kids want to hear (edited of course) and they start raunchy dancing, then we won’t be invited back either. The new music choices has made it nearly impossible for us DJs to make the administration, parents, and students happy.

    What we’re trying to do now is play more up-beat club style remix music so kids don’t have the opportunity to get down and dirty. Sometimes this goes over very well and other times it doesn’t work at all because kids in high school like the hear the versions they hear on the radio.

    If anyone has any questions for someone who actually DJs these events, please ask.

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  • DJ P

    It’s a lose lose situation. And honestly, you can nurture your children all your life and they may let lose when they venture off into the real world, or you can keep an eye on them and grow to be one of their best friends later on in life. If i was in high school and my parents called the principal to tell them not to play the SAME SONGS that we hear on the radio and it affected my homecoming night, yea, I would be extremely upset with my parents. And mind you, I am a DJ, but the thing here is, most of the kids KNOW what the song is saying, but they truly don’t KNOW what the song is saying. We look into it too much, the PARENTS, look into it too much. “Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby, let me know…” The kids arent hearing this and going, HEY! Flo Rida seems to make it cool to have his “whistle” blown, I’m gonna get freaky this weekend. I mean, the only REAL influential music that we listen to, is music when we need motivation or when we are sad or depressed and need an uplifting or something that is understanding. We also tend to listen to music when we want to PARTY and THAT i am not saying is not influential because “SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS” is very influential and is not a song that probably should be played BUT in remembering that if they don’t hear it there, like someone else said they will hear it at the after party.

    Holding your children from certain music for 3-4 hours in a school dance isnt going to prevent them from being promiscuous or crazy. Honestly, your just going to be labeled that mom or dad that is very annoying and will probably make your children distant of you in the long run, trust me I’ve seen if first hand with my mother and sister who are now finally having a better relationship, and you would never know it looking at our family because we are such a tight family and discipline was well placed in our family as well as family values and dinner every night of the week together, it was just when my mother decided to embarrass my sister when she was wrong in high school, my sister ended resenting her. Now that she is grown up and nearing a mother of herself, she realized she was just doing it for protection and because my mother cared.

    Bottom line, dont call the school. Dont even bother bothering the DJ because you can potentially ruin your son or daughters dance and that is to include the others there dancing as well. If i was to have a school dance right now, I would want Springsteen playing and John Mellencamp, but the kids dont want that…

    Trust me when I say the kids are not hearing the songs that promote sex or sexual activity and going, WOW…GREAT IDEA!!!

    If you want to protect your children, make good choices for them prior to this dance. Guide them through what is right and wrong. Explain to them the importance of family and friendship and SHOW them that you support them even when they may be wrong. Family outings, dinners, etc. BE A FUN FAMILY but be a fun and safe family. Provide health and shelter throughout their life growing up and they will turn out to be alright. And trust me, 3 hours of music saying “BLOW MY WHISTLE” will not make them forget everything they were taught for 17 years and make them go…OH! HELL YEA, Let’s blow some “whistles”…

  • Peter

    Ok…You people really need to relax. This is music. It’s a cycle. Back when you were young the lyrics of the music you listened to was just as offensive to your parents. It’s contextual to the time period and current state that we’re in. Stop freaking out. Let it go, I think there’s bigger things in the world to worry about. Plus, when I look back on your history I can’t believe you all made it out of that period with all the drugs and crazy politics you had going on. And, just to stop you before you say anything. I’m sure someone in the future will be saying that about my generation too.

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  • Tyler Mortvedt

    Where do you draw the line? all of these songs are played on the radio…..

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