teenagers

Teen-to-Teen Mentoring… can it happen?

February 8, 2013 by doug Leave a Comment

25 more free books… read the post and find out how to get them.

Do you have to have it all together to mentor? What does that even mean? Nobody has it all together, even Paul…So that means, wait for it…YOU QUALIFY! Not only that but you have teenagers who qualify to mentor.

Mentoring is something that takes place in the course of life. Not after you have passed a test but as you go along.

Teen-to-teen mentoring

Teenagers have so much to give and yet need so much. By allowing your older teens to mentor younger teens, you are allowing growth to multiply. When your older teens spend time praying for and preparing for an hour (or so) with a younger teen, they are growing in Christ! They don’t know it all but neither do you! By spending a little time each week with a group of older high schoolers, you are multiplying your efforts. They can, in turn, spend time with younger students and challenge, motivate and encourage them to live for Jesus.

Teen-to-teen mentoring is a simple program that allows high school teens to challenge, affirm, look at scripture, and pray together. It doesn’t take that long for your high school students. It is a 30 minute meeting weekly with you the other mentors and then 45 minutes to an hour with a younger student. The meeting time and place can be determined by the students so they can mold it around their schedule.

Why don’t you allow some of your older youth to mentor some of your younger youth and watch how both sets grow in their relationship to Christ. They don’t have to be teaching controversial truths about the second coming or political parties, but can walk with their younger friends as they learn to get along with their parents and others. Give it a try and see how they can be led by God just like you can.

We want to help! Tami Wright, the co-author of Mentoring from Start to Finish is graciously mailing out 25 FREE books the first 25 people to email deb@homeword.com with their mailing address. You will hear from Deb on Monday Feb.11th to find out if you’re one of the first 25 (if you don’t hear back from her, you didn’t win… sorry.)

Question: What are some of the topics that you would utilize with teen-to-teen mentoring? What are your thoughts?

Guest post: Dr. Grant T. Byrd is the Minister with Students at 1st Baptist Church of McKinney, Texas and the co-author of Mentoring: from Start to Finish. He is the minister “with” not “to” or “of” because the students at the church serve alongside him! Grant has been in student ministry for more than 25 years. He has an incredibly beautiful wife (Jill) who has put up with him for over 20 years, a teenage boy (Keegan) who keeps him honest, and a wonderful daughter (Darby) who wants to be a teenager TODAY! Grant is passionate about Jesus, his family, teenagers, and the Dallas Cowboys!

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Filed Under: Communication, Guest Post, Mentoring, posts, Relationships, youth ministry Tagged With: Communication, Grant T Byrd, guest post, ministry, relationships, teenagers, youth ministry

10 Ways to Show Your Small Group Leaders You Care

December 17, 2012 by doug 6 Comments

I know a lot of youth groups slow down a little or take the next couple of weeks off (during Christmas Break) and small group leaders get a little break. That’s a good thing! During this time, it’s great to make sure they know they’re loved and valued and essential to the health of your youth ministry. Drop them a short note or a quick text or a Merry Christmas… anything that communicates value.

As you prepare your care structure for next year, consider these 10 simple ideas to show small group leaders how important they are:

1. Call them the day of their small group. Take notes on the conversation and follow up with them the next day or week about something they said they were going to try in their small group.

2. Whenever you send something to your own small group students, make extra copies and send them to your small group leaders as examples.

3. Email them as a group and let them know about a lesson you taught or something that “worked” with your own small group.

4. Send them articles that you read about teenagers, culture, family or youth ministry in general.

5. Mail an actual note letting them know how much you appreciate them and couldn’t do ministry with out them. EVERYONE loves getting mail!

6. Ask them how you can pray for them personally… not just for their ministry to teenagers.

7. If they use the words, “If I only had…” or “I need to find a… ”… try to get it to them! How nice is it when someone else makes your job easier for you?

8. When you come across a teenager who is in a small group, ask him/her if they’d write their small group leader a note of affirmation (offer to mail it for the student).

9. Schedule a short, face-to-face meeting before or after youth group/church/etc… Get in the habit of regular “just wanted to connect and see how you’re doing” meetings. Let them know they’re not alone.

10. Send a short email reminding them that you’re available to answer any questions they might have about their small group. Do this often… ministry to teenagers can sometimes be lonely!

I realize these are very basic (and doable) ideas, but there’s a lot of power in the simple, basic ideas that communicate concern for your leaders. Leaders typically don’t leave a ministry, they leave leaders. Be the type of leader that your volunteers don’t want to leave.

Question: What else would you add to this list? Share it here.

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Filed Under: Leadership, posts, youth ministry Tagged With: care, conversation, follow-up, Leadership, shepherds, small group leaders, teenagers, volunteers

The Homecoming Dance Playlist

September 19, 2012 by doug 21 Comments

GUEST POST by Jonathan McKee has become a regular guest blogger on this site! He is the author of numerous books including the brand new Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent, as well as youth ministry books like Connect: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation. You can find his excellent blog here.

I just had lunch with someone whose father works for Homeland Security. This man knew of threats to our country we are probably glad we never knew about. He’s not allowed to talk about the threats, not even to family… but sometimes he would use indirect communication. This person told me stories of early morning phone calls to their house on the East Coast from their dad in D.C. where he would simply say, “Today would be a good day for you to grab the family and go for a drive… to Kentucky!”
As a guy who studies youth culture for a living… sometimes I discover things that most people are probably glad they don’t know.

I just saw the song playlist for the Homecoming dance at my daughter’s high school this coming weekend, a dance I’ve given both of my daughters permission to go to (which has always been an interesting decision to make as a parent). Some of the students posted the playlist on their Facebook page and my youngest, Ashley, showed it to me. I had her snap a few screen shots and send it to me. As I look over this list this morning, reading through the titles of songs I’ve studied and written articles about… I’m troubled with what I know about this music.

My daughter said, “Please don’t call the principal.” (Ha… I’ve only done that once in her lifetime.)

I talked with my oldest daughter, Alyssa, about it this morning. I asked her, “Why don’t you think I should call the principal?”
“Because it’s not going to do any good,” she said matter-of-factly. “They know it’s bad, but they don’t want to know. They just tell the DJ to play the clean versions and they think that they’ve done the responsible thing.” (More from this conversation in my blog.)

I just wonder what would happen if the principal really knew what was going to be played in the speakers on Saturday night?

Here’s just a glimpse:

HOMECOMING DANCE PLAYLIST:
I’ll start with the 3rd song on the playlist:

Ayy Ladies- Travis Porter

If you got some good p**sy say (YEAAAAH?)
If you got some good head on ya shouldeeeeers
If you got some good p**sy say (YEAAAAH?)
If you never let a hoe f**k you oveeeer
If you ’bout yo’ check, drank Moet
Know the p**sy stay wet, I need all dat
Tattoos on the back, I see all dat
You already got a man, I ain’t tryna be all dat

I’m just tryna hit it by the end of the night
Lil’ mama so bad and her booty so tight
When I hit it from the back, don’t fuss, don’t fight
When I put it in ya mouth, don’t scratch, don’t bite…

If you’re wondering how they’ll play a song like this, let me introduce you to the “clean versions” of these songs. The clean version of the above song plays the same thing, but with the italicized words “silenced.”

Isn’t that comforting?

Don’t worry. All songs aren’t that blatant. Most are like this one from Usher…

Scream- Usher

Kill the lights, shut ‘em off

You’re electric

Devil eyes telling me “Come and get it”

I’ll have you like

Ooh baby baby ooh baby baby

Ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby baby

Girl tonight you’re the prey

I’m the hunter

Take you here, take you there

Take you under

Imagine me whispering in your ear

Then I wanna take off all your clothes and put something on ya…

If you wanna scream, yeah

Let me know and I’ll take you there

Get you going like

Ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby baby

Ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby

If you want it done right

Hope you’re ready to go all night…

Then there are songs that make you just scratch your head. Before every chorus, here’s the words…

Get Ourra Your Mind- Lil Jon

I don’t give a f**k, I don’t give a f**k, F**K IT!

I don’t give a f**k, F**K IT!

Kinda curious what the clean version will sound like.

Remember, this “poet” is what our society calls an “artist.” We’ve come a long way from Wordsworth, Shakespeare and Keats, don’t ya think?

And We Danced- Macklemore

I am not, I am not going to stand on the wall

I will dance, I will dance, I will break that ass off

And I see you in the corner, corner looking so small

Doing the robot like if I die tonight at least I went hard

I will not, I will not give a damn who watches me

I will live, I will live liberate the fox in me

I will be the discoball, freak and give my all

To whatever girl’s booty I’m freaking on

I’m not skeeting nah, it’s just freaking hot

Alright I skeeted…

And “skeet” is to ejaculate, for those who are curious.

The dances I’ve chaperones always say, “No alcohol or drinking.” Then they play a song like this one:

Bottoms Up- Trey Songz

Bottoms up bottoms up (up), Ay whats in ya cup

Got a couple bottles, But a couple aint enough

Bottoms up bottoms up (up), Throw ya hands up

Tell security we bout to tear this club up…

We (adults) are so stupid. Maybe that’s why the adults in charge of this upcoming dance allowed this song to be on the playlist…

Get Low- Lil Jon
…a song I actually wrote about in my parenting book . because I saw the “clean version” of this song played at a school dance, and the kids were all shouting the explicit version on the dance floor. I’ll let you peak at these painfully explicit lyrics here.

Here’s the lyrics to just a handful of some of the others songs on this weekend’s playlist:

Cat Daddy- The Rej3ctz

Wobble- VIC

Take Over Control- Afrojack

Whistle- Flo Rida

Snapbacks & Tattoos- Driicky Graham

Smack That – Akon ft. Eminem

Carry Out – Timbaland & Justin Timberlake

Domino- Jessie J

Sigh. Do parents even want to know this?

Hmmmmm… to dial the school… or not to dial???

Question: Do you think Jonathan should call the principal? Would you let your kids go to this dance? Do you think parents should respond to this type of thing? Why? Why not? Share your thoughts here.

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