serve

5 Ways to Put Christ Back in Christmas

December 13, 2012 by doug 4 Comments

GUEST POST by Jonathan McKee has become a regular guest blogger on this site! He is the author of numerous books including the brand new Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent, as well as youth ministry books like Connect: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation. You can find his excellent blog here.

As December progresses, and the business of the holiday creep in… sometime Jesus gets shoved out.

Don’t worry, I’m not being a Scrooge. I love Christmas decorations, hot cider and presents as much as Ralphie loves his Red Ryder B.B. gun. I just don’t want those things to get in the way of the greatest present we’ve ever received… the birth of a baby who would make not only change history, but would save us all.

Here’s 5 simple ways to put Christ back in Christmas this December:

1. Read the story. Start reading the book of Matthew or the book of Luke together—each begins with the Christmas story. It doesn’t matter when you read it. My family is currently doing it after dinner while we’re still gathered around the table. We probably only have family dinners 4 or 5 times a week, because of busy schedules, but that still gives us 4 or 5 chapters a week. Who knows… maybe the habit will stick and you can finish Luke and move on to the book of Acts in January.

2. Choose to serve. Find a way that your family can serve together during the holidays. A few years ago my family decided to each choose an activity we’d do during the holiday break. One of us chose to go downtown and pass out McDonalds gift certificates to homeless people. Another chose to call up the local mission and serve in the soup line. The possibilities are endless. Find a way to get your hands dirty and help the “least of my brethren” this Christmas.

3. Give. Gather together as a family and choose an individual, a missionary or a ministry to give a special gift to this Christmas. World Vision has a great gift catalog where your family can choose to buy a goat for a needy family overseas. Your city probably has some great missions that feed the needy. Or you might know a family in need in your church or neighborhood. I remember a few years ago when a family in our church was really struggling and didn’t have any money for presents for the kids, or groceries, for that matter. Our family pooled together a few hundred dollars and bought some Wal Mart gift cards, giving it to the family anonymously.

4. Tell the story. About 5 to 7 years ago, I gave my kids a challenge. I told them: “On Christmas day, each of us are going to tell the Christmas story in some unique way. You can use art, drama, technology. No rules. Just choose a creative way to tell the true Christmas story. I dressed up as a Shepherd with a Jersey accent and told the Christmas story first person. My daughters teamed up and did a play. My son drew. Each of us told the story using our own gifts.

5. Experience the story. This is a good one for all you kinesthetic learners who like to learn by doing and experiencing. Some towns offer live manger scenes where people act out the Christmas story. Some churches have Christmas plays. If you don’t have these available, then go outside under the stars, light a candle and read the story of the shepherds (Luke 2). Worse case… rent the movie The Nativity. Just do something where you can see, hear, and maybe even experience the Christmas story.

Question: What about you? What are some ways that you have put Christ back in Christmas? Oh, do share right here!

[Are you getting Doug's daily blog in your email inbox?] If not, it’s real easy–go here.

Filed Under: Culture, Faith, Family, posts Tagged With: Christmas, faith, guest post, Jesus, Jonathan McKee, serve, World Vision

Size Matters… 25 ways to go small

October 22, 2012 by doug 5 Comments

As part of the debut of my new series, “Be her hero: how NOT to suck as a husband” this week’s posts will focus on marriage.

During the junior high years very male learns the phrase “size-matters” and it becomes the source of many male-oriented jokes and innuendos long into adulthood.

Let me set the record straight–size DOES matter.
Research points to the fact that women prefer small.

Women prefer their husband to become proficient at mastering the small… but meaning acts of service. Small acts of kindness, service, initiative that add up to being a big deal.

Marriages grow distant because one or both spouses stopped doing the small things that really matter.

It was the accumulation of “little things” that led to big problems.
It’s also the little things that can also lead to big change.

When I was preparing my series “Be her hero: How not to suck as a husband” I asked wives (via Twitter/facebook) this question: “Ladies, what are little things that make a big difference in marriage?”

Here are 25 answers they provided:

1. Taking initiative… seeing what needs to be done and doing it.
2. Knowing my favorite radio station and turning it on when I’m in the car.
3. Occasionally surprising me and bringing home my favorite drink.
4. Randomly making our bed while I’m showering/getting ready
5. Holding the baby when he gets home from work
6. Turning off the TV/putting down the phone
7. Compliment me about the job I do with the kids
8. Tell me I’m pretty even when I’m not dressed all fancy
9. Noticing when I’ve changed my hair or am wearing something new
10. Calling me during his day just to ask how I’m doing
11. Bringing me small, inexpensive gifts
12. Writing cards with words of love (I’ll treasure these forever, seriously)
13. Helping out with chores without me having to ask
14. Leaving his stuff where I ask him to leave it
15. Leaving me alone when I’m reading a good book
16. Plan a surprise date (even a FREE picnic would be fine)
17. Watch a few minutes of a TV show he doesn’t like just to be with me
18. Surprise me and drive the kids to school for me
19. Listen, even when you’re tired
20. Tell me you prayed for me
21. Call on your way home to see if you can pick anything up
22. Be my cheerleader in front of the kids/friends
23. Occasionally, empty the dishwasher
24. Listen to me without being on the laptop or phone
25. Hang up your clothes

These are SMALL ideas! She’s not asking her husband to: (1) cure cancer, (2) paint the house, (3) write a book on why you love her.

Refresh your marriage by doing some of the small actions that we know we ought to be doing that we’re not doing.

When you set out on a journey and you get off track by a small amount… over a long period of time you’ll radically miss your destination. I know many marriages have missed their intended marriage destination!

Pay attention to your marriage and get back on course by doing the little things today.

Question: What would you add to this list? Share it here.

If you’re interested in the 4 part audio series: Be her hero: how not to suck as a husband, go here.

[Are you getting Doug's daily blog in your email inbox?] If not, it’s real easy–go here.

Filed Under: Marriage, posts Tagged With: "little things", be her hero, gifts, how not to suck as a husband, kindness, marriage, serve, small, survey women

Married 7 days a week: Day 6 “Serve”

December 5, 2011 by doug 6 Comments

Today and tomorrow I want to finish the series that I began last week on Married 7 days a week (I was away speaking this last weekend and couldn’t finish Sat/Sun). Basically, my idea with this blog series is to list some simple actions we can do every day to improve the direction of marriage. Not every marital action has to be BIG… granted some marriages need big help, but many of our marriages simply need some consistent, simple actions that can and will change the trajectory of a marriage over time.

Here’s the M-F list:

Monday is Minimize
Tuesday is Talk (which is really connect & listen)
Wednesday is Words
Thursday is Touch
Friday is Fun!

Simple actions that you can take every day of the week. Today, Saturday stands for Serving!

If you’re anything like me, you know that there’s something very unnatural about serving. My natural reaction isn’t to serve. I feel much more comfortable waiting for others to serve me.

To serve Cathy in my marriage, I have to acknowledge that, on my own, my relational instincts are selfish. But the good news is that I’m capable of change… and so are you!

Selfishness is easy, it doesn’t require intelligent to be selfish—you simply must be breathing.

Even following Jesus doesn’t guarantee a win over selfishness. Jesus had to teach his closest followers that it should be different among them and serving was the route to greatness (Mt. 20: 20ff).

The battle in marriage is: do I (1) obey Jesus and serve my spouse, or (2) obey what’s natural and serve myself (or wait to be served)?

When was the last time you stopped to do what was personally uncomfortable to serve your spouse?

I’ve discovered that a marriage that has “serve” in its equation isn’t about making sure you serve in the big ways. I had a lady tell me, “Oh, my husband is good at serving, he paid for my trip to London.” Great! That’s a big act of service—it’s nice to have a husband with dough. But, what’s more empowering to a relationship, is not the occasional extravagant act, but the regular small ones.

Here are some small, regular acts of service:

Going out to dinner where he wants to go.

Not insisting on listening to your favorite radio station.

Listening instead of talking.

Learning to comfortably say, “Let me do that.”

“Let me get that for you.”

“I know it’s your day to drive the kids to school…let me do it.”

“I know you’re planning on paying the bills tonight…let me do it.”

“Let me fold the clothes, you rest.”

“I know you have a bunch of calls to return, let me do them.”