As part of the debut of my new series, “Be her hero: how NOT to suck as a husband” this week’s posts will focus on marriage.
Let me set the record straight–size DOES matter.
Research points to the fact that women prefer small.
Women prefer their husband to become proficient at mastering the small… but meaning acts of service. Small acts of kindness, service, initiative that add up to being a big deal.
Marriages grow distant because one or both spouses stopped doing the small things that really matter.
- It was the accumulation of “little things” that led to big problems.
- It’s also the little things that can also lead to big change.
When I was preparing my series “Be her hero: How not to suck as a husband” I asked wives (via Twitter/facebook) this question: “Ladies, what are little things that make a big difference in marriage?”
Here are 25 answers they provided:
1. Taking initiative… seeing what needs to be done and doing it.
2. Knowing my favorite radio station and turning it on when I’m in the car.
3. Occasionally surprising me and bringing home my favorite drink.
4. Randomly making our bed while I’m showering/getting ready
5. Holding the baby when he gets home from work
6. Turning off the TV/putting down the phone
7. Compliment me about the job I do with the kids
8. Tell me I’m pretty even when I’m not dressed all fancy
9. Noticing when I’ve changed my hair or am wearing something new
10. Calling me during his day just to ask how I’m doing
11. Bringing me small, inexpensive gifts
12. Writing cards with words of love (I’ll treasure these forever, seriously)
13. Helping out with chores without me having to ask
14. Leaving his stuff where I ask him to leave it
15. Leaving me alone when I’m reading a good book
16. Plan a surprise date (even a FREE picnic would be fine)
17. Watch a few minutes of a TV show he doesn’t like just to be with me
18. Surprise me and drive the kids to school for me
19. Listen, even when you’re tired
20. Tell me you prayed for me
21. Call on your way home to see if you can pick anything up
22. Be my cheerleader in front of the kids/friends
23. Occasionally, empty the dishwasher
24. Listen to me without being on the laptop or phone
25. Hang up your clothes
These are SMALL ideas! She’s not asking her husband to: (1) cure cancer, (2) paint the house, (3) write a book on why you love her.
Refresh your marriage by doing some of the small actions that we know we ought to be doing that we’re not doing.
When you set out on a journey and you get off track by a small amount… over a long period of time you’ll radically miss your destination. I know many marriages have missed their intended marriage destination!
Pay attention to your marriage and get back on course by doing the little things today.
Question: What would you add to this list? Share it here.
If you’re interested in the 4 part audio series: Be her hero: how not to suck as a husband, go here.
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