Guest Post: What Our Kids Hear from “Some Nights”

August 17, 2012 by doug 26 Comments

GUEST POST by Jonathan McKee has become a regular guest blogger on this site! He is the author of numerous books including the brand new Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent, as well as youth ministry books like Connect: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation. You can find his excellent blog here.

This week I emailed four different people, all friends of mine with master’s degrees (i.e. smarter than me), and asked them what they think the lyrics mean to Fun’s new song Some Nights.

I received four different answers.

So what are teenagers without master’s degrees hearing from this song?

Vague lyrics are nothing new. I’m still trying to figure out why a guy riding through the desert on a horse with no name is seeing flying alligator lizards? (Perhaps hallucinogenic drugs were involved?) Fun’s lyrics to the title of song of their new album, “Some Nights” is no exception:

Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck
Some nights, I call it a draw
Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights, I wish they’d just fall off

But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh Lord, I’m still not sure what I stand for oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don’t know anymore…
Google the lyrics and you’ll find the rest of the lyrics to be just as vague.

So what do we know about the song?

1.The song is catchy.
When I heard the song for the first time, I found myself singing the chorus the next few hours, making up lyrics in the gaps (I do the same with Elton John’s Rocket Man, don’t you?)

2.Teenagers sure like it.
I’ve been on three different outings with my girls (14 and 16) in the last week and heard their friends playing it or singing it on all occasions.

3.It’s doing well on the charts
It’s #3 on iTunes as I write this, and it’s #8 on the Billboard Hot 100. It’s getting plenty of airplay. I’ve heard it in the grocery store, the mall and the radio nonstop.

4.The lyrics raise questions about the meaning of life
One of the catchy parts of the song is when they repeat, “What do I stand for?” a question that probably resonates in the minds of the listeners. The music video doesn’t seem to offer much clarity, possibly serving as just one interpretation of the lyrics. But the message of “emptiness” seems to penetrate through most interpretations.

5.The band’s songs seem to think we’re all alone in this world, so make what you can of this temporary time.
If you look beyond this song to songs like their hit, We Are Young, and their rather bleak song, One Foot, you’ll get a more holistic picture of Fun’s philosophy. One Foot, for example, reveals a little about their view of God and the church. He describes passing a chapel and thinking about what happens inside:

I happened to stumble upon a chapel last night.
And I can’t help but back up when I think of what’s happens inside.
I got friends locked in boxes. And no way to live.

But you call it a sin. Isn’t up to them.
After all, after all I thought we were all your children,
But I will die for my own sins thanks a lot.

Wow.

The question parents are asking me is, “What are our kids hearing?” And “Should I let my teenagers listen to this?”
That’s a good question. In all honesty, I don’t think young people are understanding much of Fun’s poetry. When parents compare this song to the typical popular hip hop “get low and shake your…” …Fun is probably a sigh of relief to some. If you listen to the band’s two hits, We Are Young and Some Nights, you’ll find a curse word here and there, but not a whole lot that will cause parents to worry.

But, should they worry?

I guess I’ll answer that question the way I answer it to most parents: “Why don’t you use these popular songs as a springboard for conversation with your teenagers?”

It’s okay to react to these songs, but don’t overreact.

If your kids like these songs, print out the lyrics to several of Fun’s songs on their album, “Some Nights” and ask them what they think the lyrics mean. Show them the lyrics to the song One Foot. Ask them what the think the group is trying to say. Rather than jumping on your kids and banning the song from your house, ask questions about it:

1. Do you think any of your friends have this temporary outlook of, “I don’t need a new love or a new life just a better place to die.”
2. What does the band seem to think of God and the church?
3. Do you think any of your friends have this view of church and God?
4. How would you respond to your friends if they talked about church or God like this?

These songs by Fun are yet another chance to turn our “overreaction” into “interaction.”

Question: What about you?
What do you think the title song of this album, “Some Nights” is about?
What do you think about allowing your kids to download a song with one curse word?
Do you think parents should allow their teenagers to download songs with clear secular philosophies?
Share your thoughts here.

If you want to talk music and/or how to discuss music with your kids, check our more articles from Jonathan

What is This #1 Song Whistle Really About?

Can I Download Nicki Minaj?

Overreacting or Interacting to Rihanna’s #1 Song

If you liked this article, you’ll love Jonathan’s book, Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent, including the chapter titled, “Dad, Can I Download This Song?”

[Are you getting Doug's daily blog in your email inbox?] If not, it’s real easy–go here.

Filed Under: Communication, Culture, Family matters, Guest Post, happening, Parenting, posts, youth ministry Tagged With: Communication, conflict, family, guest post, Jonathan McKee, parenting, teenagers, youth ministry

sharda

This article is AWESOME!!!! I am a youth volunteer in our middle school ministry. This is actually what our volunteer team is working toward- using social media trends, music, and other trending topics to promote conversation! Thank you for this! I may use it during tomorrow’s service.
i dont know???

SO in a way there asking God what are u thinking and thanks alot i mean they obviously mean that they think god doesnt no what he’s doing??? i dont know plz someone give more clarification if u can bcuz i feel this song is mocking god someone tell me otherwise, thanks…..
RAH

A well written post. you bring up some valid points and I like how you turn the song into a launching point to improve communications with your children. one other question you can try to add to this would be “Why do they feel this way about God?” how can you help them to see things differently or improve there take on life. They sound rather jaded about life which is not something that happens 1. overnight and 2. for no reason. Did an event cause them to lose hope and turn their back on god or did they turn there back on god which caused them to lose hope? Some would use this as a way to judge the writers/performers of this song but should we not try to Help them as opposed to judging them? should we not teach our children to help others as best they can and to withhold judgement. it is God’s place to Judge not humanity’s.
AxxxExxxx

I love this song, and I like to think that I sort of understand what he is talking about (Can anyone really know, though) even though I am a 15 year old. I dislike how you suggest that, as teenagers, we don’t really know or understand what we are listening to. Our capacity to understand things is equal to yours, or so I’d like to think. And even though we may be teens, I believe we should be able to download anything we choose to listen to. That is just my opinion.
- Jonathan McKee
  
  Interesting perspective. I agree with you that teenagers probably have way more “capacity to understand things” than we give them credit for. For example, you probably have no problem understanding what Christina Aguilera’s new song YOUR BODY is about (#5 on iTunes music video charts today), a song that you think kids should freely listen to if they choose, right? Because 15-year-olds “should be able to download anything they choose to listen to.” While you’re at it, can you tell me what the Juicy J song BANDZ A MAKE HER DANCE is about (#13 on the same chart). How do you feel about the fact that young girls across America are “understanding” and absorbing the messages from this song since their parents let them “download anything they choose to listen to”? Please don’t take offense to my questioning. I’m just following your logic and wanted to see if you indeed believe that parents should just step back and let 15-year-olds do what they want, even when they know it has dire consequences.
  - Jess
    
    I think that it’s important to remember that teenagers don’t live in a vacuum and that although you may decide that some music isn’t allowed in your home there is a good chance that the teenagers will find the music elsewhere. Would you rather they talk about the music with their friends exclusively or talk to you, too? It seems like you’re against teens listening to sexually explicit and/or suggestive material. While this type of material makes me, a married 25-year-old woman, uncomfortable, I understand that some teens listen to it. As a nurse I’ve seen what sheltering teens from reality does. I’ve seen barely teenage girls giving birth who believed that all sorts of things would prevent pregnancy. Clearly no one told them the truth. Instead of pretending that these songs don’t exist, why not talk to your teens about them? Perhaps ask them how they feel about Christina Aguilera’s “Your Body.” Do they like the song? If so, why? What do they think it means and how do they feel about the lyrics? This is your perfect opportunity to explain how sex is so often mistaken for love and how one of the key differences between people and dogs in heat is that we can control our impulses. Talking about these topics doesn’t mean that you support or endorse premarital sex. It just means that you’re willing to answer the tough questions and have the difficult conversations instead of letting other misinformed and misguided teens have these talks. Remember, just because it’s not in your house doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist and that your teens won’t ever hear it. Why not let your teens download whatever they want but periodically review their playlists and talk to them about it? They’re probably already listening to it anyway but at least that way you’ll have the opportunity to help them critically think through the meanings of what they listen to and determine how they want it to influence, or not influence, their lives.
- olddog
  
  (“Can anyone really know…[?]“).
  Your right. Right, because the song (at least for me) doesn’t come from the world of words… but that part, deep down in side, from which our passion, fears, hopes, dreams, inspiration springs forth.
  
  “Our capacity to understand things is equal to yours…”
  Maybe better. Experience tends to weigh us old farts down with misconceptions and prejudice. As much as death may be distasteful to most, it allows ‘our’ ways to pass and future generations to heal and change.
  
  I remember when I was 15. That was before I was spoon fed a pile of propaganda, sent off (drafted) to to their dirty deeds, only to get slapped in the face by reality. I won’t tell you right & wrong, good & bad… just about some of my life’s lessons.
  
  - Cherish the moment, make the most of it. Life is not a personal history or a future plan, it is and always will be your place in the moment.
  - Don’t do anything you can’t live with, because they’ll haunt you for the rest of your life.
  - beware of words, words are tricks. Some tricks are good (open an internal insight into your true nature), Some tricks are bad (bend your mind into doing other’s hidden agenda).
  - Learn to listen to your heart. Nothing is black and white, only shades of gray… your heart knows this.
  - Don’t be afraid to say what ‘needs’ to be said. If you speak from the heart, the words will be honest. If you can’t find the ‘right’ words, say so.
  - Forgiving (not necessarily forgetting) is so important. Until you forgive, you are trapped. Until you forgive others, you can’t forgive yourself.
  - Don’t make a heavy decision quickly. I’ve always been amazed what bubbles up from deep down inside (the real me) given a night’s sleep.
  
  And to complete the circle… Cherish the moment. Celebrate it with your loved ones and try to do the ‘right’ thing… eat your pride and try to always leave on a good note.
  
  Heck, I got into fist fights with my old man… my biggest regret? Waking up one morning and it was too late to tell the SOB how much I really respected (loved) him.
  
  A helping hand in a time of need is a beautiful thing indeed.
RMCoyote

I really, really love this song. I probably would have loved it when I was a teenager too, but I probably wouldn’t be able to answer the ‘why’, and my understanding of it would have been very different.

I think this song in itself is very helpful to teenagers, because it is very easily interpreted through their experiences. As a mega-christian teenager I would have had a answer to this song, and felt secure because of that. What do I stand for? God! Things were simple. Songs and poems help teenagers think through their own views on a subject, and I think that is important.

Nowadays, being what I call a “not very good Christian” now, I love this song because it has that pang of having experienced incredibly hard times in life and questioning. I still love God, but then you come down to the nitty-gritty of things, family who are sick and dying, seeing how human the people you used to think were perfect are… This song resonates with me because it has that quest, with some very simple truths. I am sad you didn’t mention one of my favorite lines of the song- “The most amazing things can come from some terrible lies”. It brings to mind the verses about how God works all things into good.

I think it’s very important to question things that we might hold as sacred (see the lines about not believing the black and white), because we all need to wrestle with our angels to get our blessings. Test the teaching to judge if a teacher is true, and all that. Honestly, I find this song very realistic for someone in their young twenties or thirties when life starts getting really real.

As for the One Foot song… well, as someone who has friends who experienced a hell of a lot of hurt because of the Church (to the extent of panic attacks, having to see therapists, etc) so I get it. There comes a time when you struggle with the line between God and man, where you see and love people and rail against the pain they are caused to the extent you would rather be damned then play a game that just leads to more hurt. As for the hollowness of many of Fun’s lyrics… you have read Ecclesiastes, Job, and many of David’s psalms, right? Sometimes, hollowness is just as much a part of life… and I think discounting and trying to hide this from a teenagers life is potentially crippling to them. It’s not unchristian to have bleak moments! So I don’t see how that would discount those songs on a Christian basis.
- Jonathan McKee
  
  I love your insight into Fun and their lyrics. Thanks for sharing. Really good stuff.
  
  As for your final comment, I encore your statement that I hope parents won’t “hide this” from their teenagers. If a parent just shuts their kid down, the kid will probably go to find answers elsewhere. That’s the whole point of what I wrote above. Parents shouldn’t overreact, instead, they should interact with their kids about fun and their lyrics. Hopefully, they’ll find some glimpses into real life in that dialogue.
  
  But yes, there will be times where parents will need to draw a line, and after discussing lyrics, say, “Sorry, this doesn’t belong in my house.” We just did that with Maroon 5′s “One More Night.” But we didn’t do that with “Some Nights.”
Bill Stewart

You need to watch the official music video of the song. It’s images question war, questions fighting in a war that serves no purpose, and suggests there are better things in life than fighting in a war that leads to bloodshed and killing (like the love of a girl left behind, a farm left behind, best friends left behind). Parents should encourage their teenagers to watch it, and parents should watch it too.
Mikaela Smith

I’m a teen, technically (19), so I’m not sure where I fit in your categorization of ‘adults’ and ‘children’. My parents did not monitor my music while I was growing up. I was mature enough to listen to lyrics and recognize when they were improper. Sometimes, I still listen to songs that do not have a good message. They can be catchy and they are the songs that I don’t truly listen to; I am mindlessly singing them. Sometimes, it helps to have a song to sing that literally means nothing to you. Many songs have recently held too many reminders and I love music too much to stop listening and singing to it. You see, I just went through a rough breakup, and I’m not proud of my actions during that relationship. But, I refuse to blame popular songs for my behavior. I’m not perfect, no human is, and I will take responsibility for my actions. Parents should be more trusting of their children, in my opinion. After all, the parents raised the children, instilling them with good values, hopefully. Why distrust someone that you’ve raised to be a good person who knows right from wrong? I realize that some teens need guidance, but I would definitely suggest talking to them and helping them understand your side before automatically banning a song. Believe me, they will respect you more for treating them like an adult.
- Holly Blake
  
  Mikaela, you make very good point & I agree w/you! My teens & I listen to the same music and often talk about what particular lyrics mean. For the youngest, I don’t explain all the “dirty” stuff yet, but I warn him what NOT to sing in public. LOL…….Enjoyed this article, Mr. McKee. I found it b/c my little one asked me what Some Nights means.
sarah

I’m pretty sure its about deployment, those lines about missing their parents, dying for their own sins, questioning their identity after combat.
http://www.facebook.com/chad.peterson.5817 Chad Peterson

I personally believe this is an amazing song. As for the true meaning of it, no one will ever know unless if they ask the writer personally but I, just like many others, have my own interpretations of it. Everyone will get some kind of message out of every song they listen to, but not everyone will get the same message. Like I’ve already said, i love this song and the reason being is because from what I interpret from it, I can fully relate to it. I’ve been in the Navy for a little over 3 years (I know, not that long) and spent the last 2 years 9 months in a middle eastern country called Bahrain and out of all that time I’ve only been home for 27 days. I’m ashamed to say I have lost a lot of my faith. I’ve gone through depression and I’ve questioned everything. But I picked myself back up and a lot of the help to do so came from music, this song being one of them. I believe the song has a lot to do with that, leaving home to chase your dreams or to join the service, to pursue some kind of greater good, but while in the process of doing so, losing sight of why you left in the first place. Questioning what exactly it is you’re trying to get
Aaron

I just listened to this catchy song (FUN: “Some Nights” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQkBeOisNM0) today and the lyrics began fitting together like a puzzle of the typical American mindset. In a book by Andrew Delbanco (1996) entitled,

The Death of Satan: How Americans Have Lost the Sense of Evil, the Civil War is mentioned as the turning point for Americans and the “death of Satin” from society (interesting that the music video chose this too). He says that Americans used the term “God be with you” which was replaced by “good luck” post Civil War. The war simply left people with so much numbness that they did not want to deal with moral decisions anymore. As Satin exits our thoughts as a society, people are beginning to unite with and rally around interest groups that share their same beliefs (secular humanism) instead of around a common enemy like Satin. God is now looked at as the producer of love instead of the savior from darkness. Teens today don’t know what to believe now because they do not truly believe in evil so they can’t truly believe in good. What is left to believe in? The only answer to this problem is to devote our hearts and minds along with our children’s to the study of “light” God’s word since we know that light exposes darkness (Eph 5:13). This will unite us once again around a common enemy and bring unity and peace of mind for America’s children and youth. The catch is that it must start at the home with the parents.
LKF

I think this song captures brilliantly the questioning that is a very real and very important part of adult life. What adult hasn’t had a period in their life when they woke up and wondered whether they were on the right path? When we are young, it is easy to think that we can have it all. But, in reality we are making decisions each day that lead us down a particular path or branch. As we grow older, it becomes harder and harder to go back and change paths. What we have sacrificed on the path(s) not taken becomes increasingly visible to us. This can happen even to people who have made every effort to live their lives according to their faith. We still question whether we have used our gifts as God intended. Whether we did the right thing in moving away from our home to build a better life for our children. Whether we spent enough time with a loved one before they were gone. Whether we have done enough to try to heal our broken world. I see this as a normal part of adult life and within reason, healthy, as it helps us live more consciously.

I think this song speaks most powerfully to those of us in our late twenties and thirties who are just beginning to really come to terms with limitations in life and the implications of our choices. There is an urgency in this phase of life to try to get it right–a sense that there is still time to change course if a course correction is needed but that time is running out. The possibilities no longer seem infinite and the sacrifices and costs are all too real and apparent. Having a strong faith helps, but it does not mean there is no questioning. The question “what do I stand for?” is one that is good to ask periodically. I don’t read the song as assuming that nothing is worth standing for. But rather a questioning of your own motives and choices–which might or might not have been made with all good intentions.

I agree this is heavy stuff for teenagers. But, teenagers can handle much more than we think. I remember wrestling with some pretty big questions along those lines back in the day, and I really wish that I could have had the kind of open relationship with my parents where I could explore those ideas and feelings without their passing judgment on me or providing me with “the” answer that I was “supposed” to feel or want. My parents banned rock music (and most PG movies) from our home. I would not recommend that approach. Music is powerful, but so are the words and deeds of parents. If your kids know what you believe is right and wrong and why, they can take that and apply to what they encounter in the world–including music. I think one of the most important things we can do is encourage critical thinking and thoughtful living in our kids. If the faith foundation is there, they will use that as a lens to approach decision-making.
I think this song provides a good opportunity for meaningful dialogue between parents and teenagers. At the end of the day, kids are going to grow up and have to live in the world, and this provides good insight into what that means.
guess who

You utterly missed the point of this song. Typical of the CUFI mindset. THis is an intense song question the point of endless wars…. and the reference to 10 years suggests they had the endless GWOT in mind, more than civil war…..
- OldDog
  
  kudos… everyone wants an answer based on words. I’m a vet with two tours in SEA during Nam (I had a cake walk compared to some of my brothers in arms), and find the song extremely disturbing… not because of the song, but what it wakes up deep in me. The face, after bayoneting the farmer… I’ve seen that face too many times. Dancing with the dragon burns holes in the soul.
  
  “What do I stand for?
  Most nights, I don’t know anymore…”
  
  That’s the question. 38 years later, and we’re still lost between two worlds… The hell-full world of dancing with the devil and The blissfully ignorant world of society growing fat suckling off the teats of an impoverished mankind.
  
  The rage has muted, the nightmares’ mellowed… but the emptiness remains. Ironic thing was I was encouraged by well meaning ‘Professionals’ to talk about it. It? I meet other vets, we don’t have to say anything. One look in the eyes and we both know we know… there are no ‘winners’ in war, just survivors.
rdyr5tuy

ardyge
http://www.facebook.com/Charliechomp Chuck Uphouse

I don’t fucking care about this song being about hallucinogens or any other drug. That just makes it your typical rap song of these times. If you really have to ask what you stand for, then you view yourself as meaningless. Lots of people wonder what they will be remembered for after they die. Usually aiming for the typical what did I do for my society/country or even fellow man. Well I will die knowing that no matter where I go I will strive to never be forgotten. I stand for the ideals and concepts that brought America together as a great nation and using my oath to the constitution and people of this nation, will protect it from those who wish to corrupt and destroy it.
- OldDog
  
  I’m confused Chuck. I realize that you “don’t fucking care”, but then I’m probably not one of your “Lots of people” (which happen to also be human beings).
  
  “…this song being about hallucinogens or any other drug.”
  
  The song has nothing to do about drugs. Why would you say this? I realize you have a lot of anger (anguish?), but I don’t understand the need to bend reality.
  
  “If you really have to ask what you stand for, then you view yourself as meaningless.”
  I couldn’t disagree more. A lot of vets (I served two tours in SEA during Nam) struggle with this question after reality of warfare slaps the spoon fed propaganda out of our lives. My first time, I was dedicated to a mission, which turned out to be BS that changed as often as the wind. My second time, I was dedicated to helping as many of my brothers in arms survive long enough to return to their loved ones.
  
  “I stand for the ideals and concepts that brought America together as a great nation”
  
  Spoken like a patriot. Just realize that the Nation was founded to protect home and family from threat. Now, it is ruled by the political puppets of special interests, big Corporations, and Investment Banks. Don’t ask me to go protect big money investments, but I’ll be there in a heart beat for home and family.
  
  “protect it from those who wish to corrupt and destroy it.” Again, I agree… but be aware that many times in the past, “those” turned out to be reflections in a mirror.
  
  And lastly, I have a deep respect and love for the Stars and Stripes. It’s covered far too many caskets of fallen comrades. That is why I take it as an insult to their memories when Politicians and wanna be heroes wrap them selves in it. Patriotism, for me, isn’t about going after fellow Americans that disagree with a particular view point, it is about protecting our home and our liberty to disagree. In my humble opinion, that is what makes America great.
WiNDPooL

The song is about what it sounds like. It’s about a soldier questioning the point of war but continuing through battle to avenge the ones he’s lost. He worries that he will be forgotten after he dies because they are losing the battle. He only went to war to save his family, and he looks at the photos of them every night, up until the night he’ll die. He fears that this is not far, and the term ‘When I hear songs, they sound like a swan’s is referring to ‘Swan song’, the belief that a swan only sings the night before it dies. This is his swan song, and he dies soon after.
lyrics99

nice one i really like your post…. thanks for sharing.
lyrics

i really like your article its very pretty thanks for sharing.
Lisa Garver

It has to do with who the artist is. It’s his personal experience and struggle with being part of the music industry. I totally get that vets relate to this. Musicians face a life or death struggle to “make it” there are thousands, maybe millions of people who love music so much and want to make it their career, but we face a WAR ZONE to get there. It’s not the same as an actual war, but there take a look at the people hustling their CD’s in the streets and tell me they aren’t soldiers risking their lives for music.

As with rap, and other music it’s important to understand the person behind the song. Music is cultural.

If your child relates to his struggles, yes, it will influence him. Or if someone misinterprets a line, they make it their manifesto as with some metal groups/songs.

If a youth bops along without listening to the lyrics, THEY ARE NOT BEING BRAINWASHED. They won’t suddenly change their beliefs.

As for the video: Videos are just as creative as songs themselves. It’s not meant to give an absolute black and white message. It’s meant to entice you and make you think. Asking questions is perfectly acceptable. Just be wary of judgement. BTW. There is no mention of a reference to hallucinogens.

who am I? I’m a Community Activist and Music Educator, a Graduate of Berklee College of Music.

note: if you are doing ministry to youth or adults who have become estranged by the church, I encourage you to do the same with them. Do your research and get to know them before you start picking out little things and judging them. Maybe you can find the reasons why someone like them, like FUN, struggles to enjoy religion. In turn then, you can learn how to reach the seemingly unreachable. Meet them where they are. Accept them as they are.
emma

“One Foot,” as I understand, questions and critiques religious persecution of the LGBT community (i.e. “friends locked in boxes”…”I thought we were all your children”). Fun. are huge advocates for gay rights, and made a statement about LGBT equality at a concert before performing “One Foot.” It is not anti-Christian so much as critical of religious doctrine used for oppressive purposes.