5 ways to build support into your marriage


Does your marriage have built-in support systems that will help it flourish?

Every couple needs support!

Marriages who have taken steps to identify intentional support systems have a greater chance of marriage success!

Here are five support systems that may help keep your marriage strong:

1. Marriage mentors: Couples who are deeper into marriage and in different life-stages can offer unique perspective, advice and hope. To tap into their “been there—done that” experience adds a huge benefit. If granted permission, they can also speak to the “blind-spots” they perceive and guide you to safer places in your marriage.

2. Marriage “peers”: Don’t overlook the power found within other couples who share a similar life stage as you. They can provide neutral perspective from a peer point of view. Great conversations can be started with something as simple as, “Are you guys experiencing this [fill-in-the-blank] in your marriage?

3. Mentor younger couples: By building relationships with newlyweds or younger couples you will be forced to think thru some life-issues and unique perspectives that will cause you to reflect on and deepen your own marriage.

4. Learn together: Growth requires learning and thankfully there are many ways that couples can continue the growth process. Local seminars, DVD’s, books, etc… Cathy and I recently revisited The Five Love Languages and even though we read it years ago, we loved the new discussion it generated.

5. Counseling check-up: Counseling doesn’t equate to “being in trouble.” I know many couples who have occasional marital check-ups by checking in with their counselor once a year. Couples can gain tremendous benefit from professional marriage counseling.

Like all helpful actions, they need to be pursued and initiated. Don’t wait for them to come to you. Make them happen.

Question: What support system do you currently have in your marriage to keep “health” within reach? Share your comments here.

  • http://www.linebehind.com/ Josh Pezold

    We have a strong church support system. Especially the elders of our church. Each month I meet with one of them and they ask how my wife and I are doing, offer guidance, and make sure we are spending enough time together. Knowing and seeing that they desire us to take time away from the church together is a blessing. 

    • Paul Loeffler

      I have worked for two different churches, Josh, directly under the Senior, and I long for those caring questions.  Yes, there’s care, celebration, etc. if I bring something up, but I would love it if he would regularly ask how we’re doing.  You have an excellent blessing in that relationship.

      • http://www.linebehind.com/ Josh Pezold

        I do feel blessed. However, let me add that the relationship i have with the senior minister hasn’t always been that way. I too was in the same situation as you. We would talk about work and whatever else i would bring up. It ate away at me for months that he didn’t really ask those types of questions on his own. It took me six months until i got enough courage to say something. It was a very hard conversation, but i was honest and i told him I wanted and needed more. To make a long story short, He had no idea I had been feeling that way. He didn’t know I was looking for that type of relationship, and I’m guessing neither does your senior minister. I thought if i was the one to bring up a desire for him to ask those questions, then it wouldn’t be meaningful because i had to ask. However, i was dead wrong! For the last 4 months our conversations have been rich, fulfilling, and a true blessing. Sometimes it’s not that people can’t or don’t want to… it’s just they don’t know. Tell him how you feel… I’m sure he wants to know.